The Silence Between The Ticking
by LeoLovesAries
Summary: Set after the Six of One fight Laura and Bill sit sulking in his quarters daydreaming about their individual pasts and trying to ignore each other. Based on both series cannon and series bible history. T for now but may be M later. AR. Spoilers all around
1. When Long Ago I Asked For This

The Silence Between The Ticking CH1

STORY NOTES: TSBTT is set not long after the Six of One fight. I started writing this when I voiced to some fellow fans how bogus I felt Laura's back story had been in the series. I have just always felt like her history got the shaft. The other main characters like Bill, Kara, Lee & Baltar got these in depth views into their life and references to their histories. Laura was arguably one of the most important pieces to the plot- the leader who brought the people to Earth and yet we know so little about her. What we did know of her pre-Galactic life was sort of smashed into the last 5 years of her life. Why?  
>It was suggested to me that I check out RDM's BSG Series Bible for her original back story. I did and found that I wished they had stuck to it a lot more! Though I thought her affair with President Adar was a good addition to her story (not in the bible) the rest of what the series showed us about her was kind of a let down. Good thing MM gave her so much life and character! In reading the Series Bible I was reminded of a lot of Bill's history and learned lots about Laura's. I based this story on a mix of the Bible history and the actual series happenings which is why some of the time lines may seem wrong. For example, if you have not read the Series Bible (which is available in PDF with a simple Google search) Laura's father and sisters are killed before she's 14 years old and she had 2 older sisters instead of younger. She spends a lot of her young adult life caring for her mother on her own. I chose to keep that timeline but still stayed true to the series addition of the Adar relationship. There are lots of interesting Bill details in the bible as well. Good read! So anyway, I had to explain that for sake of character cannon confusion. I have the first 2 chapters of this story written and the last 3,4 outlined but I'm waiting on feedback to see if I will actually finish. I'm wavering myself. Opinion is welcome. First 2 chapters are rated T but may turn to M later on.<p>

HUMBLE SUGGESTION: Try not to read the "ticks" as a word and instead try to imagine the sound lol I feel like they become annoying that way. Though important to my plot, when I read them instead of hear them it makes me want to toss the story in the brig and throw away the key.

The Silence Between The Ticking

Chapter 1: When Long Ago I Asked For This

Tick.

Tick.

Tick

The room was still thick with tension; the words from their last argument still hanging heavy in the stale air of Bill's quarters. Laura was again seated at the

desk attempting to work through the stifling atmosphere. Bill, having only returned a short time before, was now escaping inside a novel on the sofa. With

his tunic and boots removed, his brooding was cemented on to his face and hardly matched his casual posture. Neither of them was sure how long they

would go on like this. If either one were to be honest they would each say that their chosen means of distraction was hardly doing the trick and that he might

as well toss his book aside and her the paperwork and blatantly sulk in front of each other. Laura found herself staring into space every so often, paper and

pen in hand with no intention of action. Bill kept reading the same sentences over and over, finishing paragraphs on auto pilot only to realize he had retained

none of it. Gods knew they had precious little time to waste. Their choice to ruminate in this oppressive climate filled with the echoes of accusations and

harsh truths was one born of their shared stubbornness.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Their dispositions were not the only things newly polluting the air of the Admiral's quarters. Laura was the first to speak, almost a half hour into Bill's arriving

and settling in his current grousing post like some sort of literate gargoyle on a grumpy perch.

"Bill, where's that damn ticking coming from?" she asked looking over at him.

He didn't look up at her right away. He was probably caught off guard by her sudden interruption, she thought. Perhaps he was trying to decide whether or not he was even

going to answer her.

After looking around the room for a moment Bill's eyes settled on a spot on a nearby bookcase where he located the source of the rhythmic sound Laura was talking about.

He hadn't even noticed it before she mentioned it.

"It's that clock." He told her in a matter of fact tone.

He gestured to it with his chin barely making an effort to point it out but with the invasive noise and his general reference Laura was able to find it. It was a small brass clock

with a round face. It sat on the second highest shelf in the case beside an unused wooden bookend carved in the shape of a Pegasus.

"It's an old maritime chronometer, measures time in spite of movement or longitude. I got it on Tauron years ago at an antique shop. It's not worth anything really. I just

picked it up because I liked it." He added in a more civil tone which Laura took as him giving an inch. He looked back down at his book.

"Well it's never ticked before…I would have noticed it." She said looking back at him.

He grimaced at the continuation of her inquiry. He shrugged his shoulders and thought for a moment before looking back at the clocks location. She was right, but he hadn't set it.

"That light fixture." he gestured again. "The one above the bookcase. It wasn't working. I had called maintenance the other day to fix a few things around here…it was on the

list. It's working now. They must have come today when you were out. Whoever fixed the light must have noticed the clock wasn't set." He explained staring at it. "It's

considered poor practice to have any chronometer on a ship read incorrectly. Even if it's just a showpiece." He added looking back at his novel but not seeing the words.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Laura fixated on the shiny brass object for a moment. She accepted this explanation though she had only left the cabin two brief times during the afternoon. She and Tory

had mostly worked out of the Admiral's quarters today. Tory recently adjusted the president's schedule so that it was mostly clear of meetings and public events for at least

48 hours after each Diloxan treatment. Laura had always found Bill's home to be a comfortable place to both work and rest but today with all that had recently been said

within these walls being there was downright distracting.

"But, you never set it…" she added after a moment, suddenly hoping she hadn't just accused him of poor practice on his own ship. The fire they were burning needed no more

fuel.

"No, I left it." He said after a beat, still seeming to be preoccupied with the page in front of him.

Tick

Tick

Tick

"Why?" she asked him, half to see if he would bother to look up at her again. She saw him grind his teeth before he answered.

"Because of the frakking ticking." He said sharply. He didn't look up.

Laura turned back around in her chair to face the desk and the papers before her. Too soon for polite conversation she mused nodding to herself.

The strange thing about the sound of rhythmic ticking, whether it comes from a simple wall clock or a pianist's metronome, is that it can so easily distract you from one line of

concentration and have you completely entranced within another; all within the single moment of the silence between the ticks. The sound can be maddening until it lulls you

with its steady spell and a carries you further away with each repetition. The ticks can feel as if the seconds are going by at warp speed if you're pressed with a deadline, they

can seem to be eons apart when waiting for something important, and they can all blend together, ignored in the times between.

Laura didn't notice she had begun to tap her pen to the tempo of the clock's sound but she had noticed that it now seemed louder in her ears, more exaggerated. She should

have tried to ignore it. Bill's confirmation had only made it seem more incessant and laced each beat with a reminder of the cold tone of his explanation. Now the ticking was

slowly taking over her thoughts. As she sat there in one moment stewing over her lover and her papers at the desk in his cabin, she in the next moment felt her surroundings

melting with the ticking of time and found herself in a long forgotten but familiar location.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Laura's legs were crossed and she had started bouncing her heeled foot to the obnoxious tone of the clock that sat on the young secretary's desk. She was the only one in the

waiting room and after some failed small talk with the young blonde, who she decided had to be a university intern, they fell silent letting the ticks take over the quiet of the

room. She tried to stop bobbing her foot a few times. She supposed she was nervous. Looking down at her lap she was starting to regret the length of her skirt. She tugged

at the hem as if it would somehow lower it by will. How long had she been sitting there?  
>Tick<p>

Tick

Tick  
>Laura briefly considered going up to the younger girl and giving her some excuse for having to leave. She kept telling herself that she really shouldn't be there, that it wasn't<p>

the right time and that this was not a situation she should be getting herself into. She had so much on her plate, so many responsibilities and already so little time to herself.

She checked the time on the desk clock; it was all but begging her to with its little habitual reminders. The work day was already over for most and she would have to relieve

Mother's nurse in just a few hours. She took a large hitched breath inward…Mother. Should she really even be considering this while her mother's health was so quickly

deteriorating? Still, the woman had been sick for a long time and Laura had been able to accomplish a good deal in that span, even while caring for her. She knew she could

handle it, but should she? Perhaps she should wait until her mother was gone to make any new commitments; she knew it wouldn't be much longer. On the other hand her

mother would be so proud to know she had become Superintendent of the Caprica City school district.  
>Tick<p>

Tick

Tick

Was this even something she wanted? She had accepted the meeting and showed up today, she reasoned with herself. If she hadn't wanted this opportunity then why had she

come? She smirked as she considered it and tugged again at her skirt hem and sighed. Her nerves and doubts were getting the better of her, if she didn't get out of this chair

and away from that ticking soon she was going to crawl out of her too short skirt and right out of her frakking skin.  
>Tick<p>

Tick

Tick

_Ring_  
>Laura nearly jumped out of her chair at the sudden interruption. She watched the young secretary answer the phone on her desk.<p>

"Yes Sir." The blonde said in a saccharine tone before hanging up. "Dr. Roslin?"

"Yes?"

"Mayor Adar will see you now." She said with faux smile.

Laura nodded with a silent thank you and rose from her chair tentatively. She took a deep calming breath to reaffirm her confidence but as she walked toward the office door

tugging at her skirt she had a feeling in the back of her mind that she was setting herself up for trouble.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Bill could ring Laura's neck for mentioning the damn clock. He had been perfectly unaware of it for the better part of a half hour as he struggled to read his book. The novel

was one that he had already read and quite enjoyed but it was not doing well at keeping his attention at the moment. Now the ticking was all he could hear. He considered

getting up to stop it but childishly he took some pleasure in knowing it was annoying her. He could put up with it for spite, he thought to himself. If he could just get into the

book he would stop hearing it. Bill briefly considered heading to Joe's Bar and leaving Laura and the ticking to themselves but he didn't. It sounded sick as he thought about

it, but he would rather be miserable beside her than to forget his troubles apart from her.

He could vaguely remember stopping the old chronometer years ago, not long after bringing it aboard. He loved its vintage appeal but Gods, it was annoying. He should set it

up in the brig, he mused to himself. No doubt a well meaning maintenance officer had re-set it in accordance with protocol, probably some young crewmen. He remembered

being obsessed with maritime code as a young man in the fleet. The traditions of the institution fascinated him. He imagined whomever set the chronometer might have a

similar affinity for custom, not that he didn't currently want to shove it right up the perpetrators helpful frakkin' ass. Still, he was floored every day by the dedication of his

crew, how these young men and women could still be so dedicated to their service, going above and beyond with little benefit. He was so often in awe of them.

He thought of himself as a young officer as he glanced at the timepiece and back at his book.

Tick

Tick

Tick  
>Bill was determined to read this chapter to its end without distraction.<p>

_'Before sunset they came upon the entrance of a Virgonian nature preserve just outside of Boskirk',_ Bill read to himself. He only got a few sentences further before realizing

once again he wasn't retaining a thing. He looked back to the clock, its rhythm still invading his ears, then back to the page. _'Before sunset they came upon the entrance of a_

_ Virgonian nature preserve just outside of Boskirk'_ He read once again, but by the end of the paragraph Bill wasn't at the entrance of the Virgonian nature preserve. He was on

a military base in Caprica City seated in a leather receiving chair of an officers quarters.  
>Tick<p>

Tick

Tick  
>Bill watched the swinging pendulum of the grandfather clock in Colonel Atlas' office. Its swaying motion was somewhat calming to him as he waited there for the Colonel to<p>

arrive. He needed all the help he could get calming his nerves at the moment. Though he was fairly confident his stoic nature wouldn't give him away he didn't want the

officer to see his anxiousness. His father in law had been encouraging when they spoke about the arrangement. He had told Bill that Colonel Atlas was willing to do what he

could to help pending the in person meeting. Apparently the man had been like an uncle to Carolanne when she was growing up. Still, none of this did much for Bill's

confidence. He hated to rely on family favors and as grateful as he was for the connection he hoped it would be his own reputation and merit that got him where he wanted to be.  
>Bill had been waiting a long time to get some face to face time with a member of the Colonial Defense Subcommittee. If he was going to be reinstated this was his chance.<p>

Tick

Tick

Tick  
>Bill listened to the sound of the clock hoping the Colonel would arrive soon. He was eager to get back to Carolanne and give her good news for a change, though he wondered<p>

if her reaction would in fact support her earlier encouragement. He could never be sure how she might react, to anything really. He knew she was anxious to start a family

and that she worried about how his potential return to service would affect that. Bill knew she was also concerned for his safety. Though they were in peacetime currently,

accidents happened in the service every day. There were times when he doubted that he should be trying so tenaciously to return to the Colonial Fleet. He had other options

and maybe it wasn't the best choice for a newly married man with a wife and responsibilities. Lords knew his own father didn't approve. Maybe this was bad timing, maybe it

was selfish, he wasn't sure. What he was sure of was that the military was his calling. He didn't believe in fate but he knew in his heart he was meant to wear the uniform. He

had to return to the service if he was ever going to consider himself a success and that's just the way it was.  
>Tick<p>

Tick

Tick

Click

Bill snapped to attention and rose to salute the moment he heard the office door open. Though technically he currently held a civilian status his military training never left him

and he knew if he was going to be reinstated he better be able to prove that he was both ready and worthy.

"Mr. Adama." Colonel Atlas greeted him. He seemed slightly amused yet pleased with Bill's formal salutation.

"Yes, Sir" Bill responded curtly.

"At ease." The colonel relieved him with a smile and took a seat at his desk gesturing for Bill to the same and so he did. The officer retrieved a folder with Bill's name and former

rank printed on it. He opened it slowly and seemed to scan it over for what felt like forever to Bill.

Tick

Tick

Tick

"So Mr. Adama," the Colonel started, "You want to rejoin the Colonial Fleet…"


	2. Damned Because I Didnt Damned BC I did

Chapter 2: Damned Because I Didn't, Damned Because I Did

Tick

Tick

Tick

Laura flinched at the memory as it faded and her current surroundings returned. She could feel her face turning flush with the memory of succumbing to Richard's cunning

smile and slick persuasions. Throughout the years of their on-again-off-again affair she never felt any shame from sneaking around, never felt shame for lying about it, she

really never even felt ashamed of sleeping with another woman's husband; Lords knew Jenni Adar had more than just an idea about their relationship. She seemed happy to

let it be if it meant she could play Caprican Socialite and eventually First Lady of the Twelve Colonies for as long as possible. The shame that Laura felt during her relationship

with Richard came from how easily he could sell her on anything, it came from her weakness for him, from the way she could never turn him down, right from the start, no

matter the request.  
>Tick<p>

Tick

Tick  
>Laura turned her head to glance at the obnoxious Tauronion antique and then glanced back at Bill. She watched him, his eyes burning holes into the pages of that poor book.<p>

She couldn't help but marvel at how different her relationship with him was from her time with Richard. Bill could hardly manage to convince her of anything, she mused.

Their entire relationship had started at odds. Where she could never say no to Richard, she almost took pleasure in arguing with Bill, playing the opposing magnet,

challenging each other at every turn. Perhaps that was the difference. She cared enough to argue with Bill. She not only cared she damn near loved it. The passion between

them was there whether they were tearing out each other's throats or sticking their tongues down them. She never worried about losing his respect or attentions due to a

contrary opinion. Bill listened, and heard her when she spoke, even when he detested what she was saying. Half the time Richard kissed her lips she felt like it was to stop

them from moving and challenging what he had just said.

She loved Bill for his respect, for his convictions and for the power and depth of his devotions even if they were currently causing him to act like a blind fool. Laura looked

back to the desk, focusing on the few framed photographs that sat upon it. _Some of his greatest devotions_, she thought to herself as she looked at the silver framed image of

a young Lee and Zak Adama. Not far from it sat a photo of Captain Thrace wearing a silly grin. She smiled inwardly admiring his love for his children but she couldn't help but

be reminded that it was such a large part of what was causing their struggles and frustrations. It was causing him to make poor decisions and she was frustrated that though

she knew he plainly saw it himself, he still couldn't bring himself to act accordingly. She knew deep down that no matter how betrayed Bill felt by Lee, that he would never

remove his ever present safety net. She knew that no matter how suspicious Bill was of Kara, he would never turn his back on her no matter what the consequences. And

there Laura thought, was a level of devotion she just didn't know, the blind devotion of a parent.

Tick

Tick

Tick  
>Laura felt the cool tile of the bathroom floor on her thighs as she sat staring at her wall clock. She sat there waiting, counting the moments as she played with a small bottle<p>

of shampoo, nervously clicking the cap open and shut. She felt as if the time was going by at a snail's pace but she couldn't stop staring at the second hand. There wasn't

much need for her to rush. She had excused herself for a lunch break, stopping only at the pharmacy before making it to her home quicker than she had planned on. Maybe

she just wouldn't return for the afternoon, she thought. If things went as she expected she would probably just call out for the rest of the day. Gods knew she would need the

time to think.

Contrary to the clock's sloth like movements Laura felt as if her heart was beating like the wings of a humming bird. She stopped herself, for about the 40th, from asking

herself what she was going to do. She didn't want to ask herself that question anymore, not because she didn't know the answer, but because she knew the answer almost as

soon as the question had arose. Now it had just become a sort of redundant nervous chant within her head.

Tick

Tick

Tick

As she sat there waiting she tried to change the chant to something more positive. _It will be fine_, she tried. _You can do this_, she attempted. The mantras failed as

replacements. Still she thought, it really _would_ be fine and she really _could_ do this. If this indeed came to fruition, as she thought it would, she could handle it just as well as

anything else she had ever been through.

She would break things off with Richard for good. It would be for the best. It was slightly sad to admit but with a distraction like this, she doubted she would miss him for

long. With a presidential campaign on the horizon he would have his own distraction soon enough and she could fade away into the background with hers.

She doubted there would be many questions. These days modern women did this on their own all the time, even purposefully. Besides, she thought somewhat bitterly, there

weren't many people left to care much about what she did in her personal life, at least none that would take the time to pry too deeply.

Tick

Tick

Tick

More than being capable, she was ready. The realization had surprised her, even shocked her but once she admitted it to herself the doubt had disappeared. Sure it was a

little later than she ever thought it would happen, but she also knew it was now or never. Somehow the prospect had gotten lost over the years; lost to her career, lost to a

secret affair, lost to responsibility, to illness and to grief, but if it was presenting itself now she was ready. She was ready to be devoted to something other than bureaucracy,

professionalism, mourning a family who would never return and a man she would never have. She was ready to love and be loved as openly as she wished. It would change

everything but, she thought with another glace to the clock…she wanted it to.

Tick

Tick

Tick

As Laura saw the clock tick past the required time she suddenly froze unable to stand right away. She kneeled on a bath mat and tugged her skirt down from where it had

bunched as she sat. _Now or never_ she reminded herself and she rose with the help of the side of the tub. She slowly paced to the far end of the counter top where the plastic

device sat by it's discarded box. Picking it up gingerly she held it in the light and read the clear results. She blinked stoically a few times and swallowed hard. _Never-mind_,she thought with a faint huff.

With a forceful flick of her wrist she tossed it into the empty waste paper basket. It clanked loudly against the hollow stainless steel. Laura turned on her heels flipping off the lights

and slamming the door behind her as she left to return to work.

Tick

Tick

Tick  
>The stinging of Bill's eyes brought him out of the memory. He realized he had been staring at the same page, unblinking long enough for his eyes to dry out and start to water<p>

in defense. So much had happened because of that single meeting, he thought and then pushed it back to the corners of his mind. He set his book on his lap removing his

glasses and rubbing at his tired lids. When he placed them back on he stole a look at Laura. He hated to say it, but looking at her was just so depressing sometimes. As

beautiful as she was and as much as he loved her, sometimes she just looked so frakking sad. Not that he could blame her, he just wished he knew what he could do for her.

He was both fascinated and terrified by what he imagined went on inside that head of hers. And now he knew he was running out of time to find out. His stomach twisted

when he thought of the clump of red hair he unclogged from the shower drain that morning. There was so much he didn't know about her, so much he feared she would take

to her grave without sharing. He wished he could spend all of his time studying her, devoting the rest of their time together to charting her body and mind like a map. He

surly didn't need the added obstacle of being furious with her. Bill sighed. His anger at her was actually starting to fade. They were both frustrated. This was all too much for

two people to bear on their shoulders. Her illness, he knew, caused so much of his anger, but the most frustrating thing about it was that there was no one to be angry at.

The rest…well, he thought, that was easier to pin, on himself, on the enemy, on his family. Bill felt heat rise in his face as he thought of the choice he made about Kara and

her so called mission; how her return and claims had tore at his heart more than he should have let them. The heat intensified as his thoughts turned to Lee. He looked again

to Laura and his anger toward the boy bubbled even more hotly within him. He didn't know how he would ever forgive his son for what he did to her at the trial. Lee was still

a maddening puzzle to Bill and now more than ever he could hardly believe this stranger was the little boy he tossed a pyramid ball to in his back yard.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Bill sat back in the waiting room chair listening to the large ceramic clock that hung on the hospital wall. It seemed to echo in the room. He was still trying to catch his breath.

After rushing there like a lunatic, running lights, ignoring stop signs and shoving past people in the halls he was told he would just have to wait until someone came for him.

He noticed one other man sitting across the room. He wondered if he was there for the same reason. He seemed too calm. Maybe this wasn't his first time, Bill thought. He

was even reading one of the crappy magazines.

Bill cracked his knuckles one by one. How could they expect him to just sit there and do nothing?

He considered calling his father, or Carolanne's parents, but he didn't have anything to tell them yet. He would hold off for now. He thought about what his father's reaction

would be. He knew he would be pleased. Their relationship was thinning especially since he had returned to the military, and what was there was bitter and strained with

disappointment on both ends. Still, a part of Bill was anxious to share this news with his father, something he knew he would actually be proud of for a change.

Tick

Tick

Tick

He should have gotten some cigars, good ones, maybe Imperials, he thought checking the clock again. How long could this possibly take? Surly someone would tell him

something soon, he told himself. He thought of Carolanne, hoping she was alright. So much would change now. She would need his help and he already knew he would be

leaving in just 6 weeks for border patrol. His guilt was sweeping in already.

He glanced at the other man in the waiting room. They guy was now nodding off in his chair. Bill had an irrational urge to punch him for being so apathetic. But then he

questioned just how long had the guy been sitting there before he'd arrived himself? This was akin to torture, he decided.

He tried to distract himself. It would be alright. He could handle this. Bill closed his eyes and tried to think of swing sets and crudely scribbled crayon creations. He thought of

bows and barrettes and little socks with lace. Carolanne assured him they were expecting a girl. He thought of holding her up on his shoulders and showing her off, blonde

hair like her mother's in little pigtails. He could teach her to fly. He let his mind drift.

Tick

Tick

Tick

"Mr. Adama?" Came a voice in the doorway. A woman in a white uniform stood with a clip board in one hand and a pen in another.

Bill shot out of his seat at the sound of his name but he couldn't seem to speak.

"Are you Mr. Adama?" the woman asked slightly annoyed.

He nodded still unable to get his brain to make his mouth move.

"Well Mr. Adama, you have a healthy son." She told him unenthusiastically. "Your wife is doing fine and someone will be in to bring you back in just a few minutes.

Congratulations Mr. Adama." She added flatly and turned to leave him there mouth agape.

Bill slowly sat himself back down into the chair. His previously crowded thoughts were now stopped in their tracks. He thought he might have heard the muffled sound of the

guy across the room saying something like 'congratulations buddy', but all Bill could hear was the ticking of the clock as he waited to meet his son.


End file.
